Dear Dr. Freud,

Did I ever tell you I have recurring dreams about bathrooms in public places?  Sometimes it's a public pool, sometimes it's a labyrinthian public school, but whenever I find the bathroom, and finally find a stall that's not broken or disgusting, I lock the door, turn around, and realize there are a bunch of open stalls in the same space, or there is a window so the whole outside can see in... there are always people watching.  Last night (in my dream), I found a stall, locked the door, and dropped an open box of Gobstoppers.  When the Gobstoppers disappeared, I heard them plinking, so I looked beneath the stall wall, and saw stairs.  The stairs were eye-level with the inside of the stall, so anyone walking down the stairs could see me. 

Right now, I'm reading Brain on Fire, and I'm nervous about what this will do to my mental fortitude.  On deck are The Breathless Zoo, On Longing, and Water Puppets. I am a lucky girl to get books for Christmas.

A tattooed man lets us off the Octopus.

The holidays are always like a Tilt-a-Whirl.  I approach the Tilt-a-Whirl having some fond memory of it. I get in, pull the bar down over my head, and I am SO excited that I squirm and giggle as though I'm 5 again.  It starts moving, and I lean one way, then the other way, then back until I get that son'bitch spinning like mad... and then I start feeling ill, and things start to blur together, and I wonder why I'm putting so much effort into spinning.  A sudden halt, then some man lets me off the ride, and I'm dizzy and exhausted and swearing I'll never do it again.  And then, alas, it's January.  I have spent two months spinning.

This is the first day in the past month that I have actually been home.  The first time I have been still.  The last time I wrote a poem was Dec. 1st, when I enthusiastically committed to writing a poem-a-day with another wonderful group of poets.  I'm not letting the lack of follow-through bother me, though, because during that time I finished & submitted a chapbook manuscript instead. Finally.  That is a nice feeling.

Beet, Chard, & Goat Cheese, Grilled

Also a nice feeling? I have time to clean my fridge today and to roast some beets. I will ask Matthew to make me a rosemary bread and we can eat this amazing sandwich.